Dear Sorority girls, GDI’s, and anyone else who cares,
DISCLAIMER: this is in no means bashing sororities or stating that it is wrong to join one. This is just my story and my thoughts on them.
As many of you may know, I am a GDI (God Damn Independent) and damn proud of it. First of all, my family is from Russia and I am a first generation American, so there was no “legacy” coming into this. When I first heard of Greek life, probably in middle school or high school, it never appealed to me. My sister, who is three years older, graduated from Rutgers University last year and wasn’t in a sorority there. I always visited her when I was in high school and she still had the full college experience. I always said to myself that I would not join a sorority because of the following four reasons:
1) I didn’t like the idea of having to “buy” friends
2) I don’t need more “sisters.” I already have my biological sister and family and that’s all I need.
3) I’m not that girly
4) It seemed like it was for fake girls
I formed all of these impressions from my sister, other older friends who weren’t in a sorority, and the movie House Bunny. My friend who was rushing at the University of Alabama told me that when she walked into one of the sorority houses, the first thing one of the girls said was, “Oh my god, I love your rolex.” She ended up dropping out of rush because she believed that the girls were mean, shallow, shut people out, and they had too many strict rules.
Fast forward two years, and what do you know.. I am rushing at the University of Miami. Talking to my future classmates before school started about joining a sorority, I would say, “I’m not sure, maybe I’ll rush to meet people but I don’t think I’m going to be in a sorority.” Throughout fall semester, things changed and my views were influenced. I thought it was fun to dress up for the mixers (Halloween is my favorite holiday), all of the friends I made were going to rush, I made older friends who were in sororities, and it seemed like the thing to do at Miami because EVERYONE was rushing.
From the moment I got there that morning, things felt a little strange. I didn’t go to orientation the day before because I was on vacation with my family, and I felt like they did not think I was taking the process seriously. I met a few girls in my rush group who I got along with really well, which fell to my disadvantage because apparently this is a very serious and strict process and you aren’t allowed to speak when you are in line and about to enter the suite. They kept us there for hours, and we had to go on breaks where we weren’t allowed to speak about the conversations we had in the suites. Day by day I was getting restless, and when I get restless, I tend to get a littlebit hyper and I talk a lot. The head of rush was a BITCH, but she somehow singled ME out everytime and found something to yell at me for. In one instance, I had my foot sticking out of the line because of the way I was standing, and one of the people in charge tripped over me and stepped on my foot. She didn’t get hurt at all, and I was the one who was trampled on, but the head “rho gamma” witnessed this and proceeded to scream at me and threaten to kick me out, accusing me of tripping the rho gammas. Later on that day, when I had a break, I was called outside by some of the rho gammas and the BITCH. She gave me a warning that if I continued to behave that way I would be kicked out of rush. She claimed that I was bad mouthing some of the sororities and that I was hurting some of the girls feelings. Who wasn’t talkingabout the weird situations they had in some of the suites? All of my friends were. But I was singled out. That day I visited four sororities, and the next day I was supposed to narrow it down to two. I knew which ones I wanted to pick and I had a good time in those suites that day. When I walked into one of them, I knew most of the girls there from first semester and they seemed happy to see me. We had real and normal conversations like you would with your friend, not like you would when youare applying for a job and trying to sell yourself. We even talked about the BITCH and what she had said to me. I was starting to like the idea of joining a sorority more just because I got to know some of these girls pretty well and clicked with them. I was excited and nervous for the next day.
I woke up the next day early to get ready, because this was the day we had to look our best. I had my outfit picked out and was about to put it on, when I texted the rho gamma in charge of my group to find out which sororities chose me back and which two were on my schedule. The text I received was completely out of the blue and far from what I or my friends expected. I was scheduled to go into the two sororities that I hadn’t marked down and the ones that I had the most fake conversations in and did not click with the girls. I didn’t want to go to those sororities, so I told her I was dropping out of rush. Of course, I was upset. All of my friends looked amazing and were so excited to finally end the process and be in the sorority. And I was sitting there alone in my dorm room, while some of my friends came to see me and find out what happened. I didn’t want them to pity me, and of course I was sad, but I knew I would get over it.
And so I did. I ended up taking 18 credits that spring semester and getting a 4.0 GPA. That meant more to me than being in a sorority. A lot of people I knew did worse in school that semester because they had no time to study as much with all of the sorority meetings. I spoke to the older girls in the sororities, and they had no idea what went wrong. Some claimed that I was on their list, and they thought that I didn’t choose them back. Others said that they thought I wanted a different sorority. Still, no one really knows what happened.. but it doesn’t matter. I am so relieved that I do not have to sit through endless meetings every week, go to events that I don’t want to go to, worry about following the rules, and most of all, have to be “sisters” with people I don’t even know or like.
Some of these “sisters” say bad things about each other to their other “sisters,” steal their “sisters” boyfriends or love interests of their “sisters,” and leave each other out. What kind of sister is that?
On a lighter note, being a GDI has allowed to experience other stuff, and actually be part of the REAL WORLD, not just part of the bubble called the UM Greek life community. I made a lot of other GDI friends, and international friends, have a lot more time to focus on my education (which is why we are all there), and do whatever the hell I want to do because I am a free spirit and I was never meant to be in a sorority. #GDITILIDIE
Thanks for reading my story!